[ +a dReaM, a mYtH, a BeliEf+ ]

[ This Girl ]

Name: CyNtHia, can call me cynZ
Birthday: 15 OcT 1987

[ My Loves ]

Drinks: plain water and lemon tea, barley.. aiya.. not picky, can drink can le la
Movies: ice age! haha.. constantine, shutter.. lots more
Songs: running-nodoubt and of coz, the song u r listenin to right now.
+ + + + + up to you to add in the rest.

[ My Detests ]

Drinks: rose drink
Movies: humm.. i dun hate movies, i love them!
Songs: nope, none in particular

[ The Memories ]

+February 2005+
+March 2005+
+April 2005+
+May 2005+
+June 2005+
+July 2005+
+August 2005+
+September 2005+
+October 2005+
+November 2005+
+December 2005+
+January 2006+
+February 2006+
+April 2006+
+May 2006+
+June 2006+
+July 2006+
+August 2006+
+November 2006+
+January 2007+
+February 2007+
+June 2007+
+February 2008+
+May 2008+
+October 2008+

Monday, November 27, 2006

cOnSiStEnCy

hihi... its been super long since i last log it.. guess i was too busy wit everythin..

u noe,.. for a relationship to stay so long it is realli difficult.. coz eventually u will noe that feeling towards the person changes.. sometimes the case happens when the other party no longer love u.. but cared deeply for u instead..

this kind of life im so tired.. the work pressure, hockey compettition n fyp and sch n tests n assignment.. plus relationship prob... how can i ever survive??

i saw someone i shouldn't c that night.. y did he appear? i dun understand.. all along from the first time we knew each other u were nv serious abt me.. who am i kidding? i was nv good enough for u.. n for that i noe that being wit u is impossible, i couldnt bear to look at u in the eye coz i was so afraid of being hurt again.. call me silly but the feelings n hope that somedae we will be together exist.. u r juz someone i will nv haf but i yearn for.. its hard to forget u..

i tot losing ur no was good enough a constant reminder of me forgettin u.. but now it seemed like i had no choice, for u enter n leave my life as though it is a hotel.. but u nv relaise that u r the only person i let in so easily. u asked me to stay that night, it was a hell lot for me to resist.. the only reason i left is becoz u nv asked me to stay.. n when u did, it was too late.. im scared.. im realli scared wat will i do or sae.. juz afraid.. u always make me feel afraid.. but nv as a whole person.

im wit someone now, n he cherish me.. he makes me feel complete.. he tries his best to be wit me.. though he didnt noe how to love me yet.. no matter wat, i will try to make the relationship works.. unless i felt that he realli do not haF the capability to love me one dae, i will leave... this is selfish i noe, but i am protectin myself.. i didnt wan to be alone again.. n i didnt wanna get hurt.. the pain is so great that no one can ease..

dear im sorri, i must confess that i am selfish.. i do not wan a relatioship whereby i will fall, or can fall.. i cared v deeply for u.. but i dunno whether its love, or will i ever love? im too scared to love someone.. coz eventually they leave.. one by one..

the hurt n pain i felt when my grandma passed away, my bro leavin me scarred me deeply.. n i juz dun wan.. nv wanted .. n will nv wan to be the party that will feel hurt..

i noe.. life isn't fair.

+ [CyNz] remember agains + 4:52 PM