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Sunday, April 16, 2006
i begin my story..
this started few years back. bro n sis were two v close entity. they share their joy, laughter n peace. God above grant them the ability to love, to accept one another as whu they are, n bless them a gift of sacrifice. was it time? or rather how the world is shaped, or was it the sorrow, the hopelessness they see around them? the faailure to do wat is right.. they fall apart. no longer were they able to share, to finish one another sentence, to have a childish and playful fight.. all sense of communication is abruptly cut off with a letter and buckets of tears and sorroe. the little sis nv get to realise, how this small fall may result in the hardening of the heart of the bro so strong tat he can nv realli open up again. to feel n sense the world with a bare heart happens no more. he drew a spell.. a strong one ard him/.one that no one can break.. he nv believes in love again. the whisper of freedom brushes over him, the granite he cast ard protected him.. from all hurt, pain and mostly love.
the sis trembles.. how can this happens? was she to be punished for the silliness of youth, of the sqaunder of love she has receive? she was young, had no exposure to pain but onli surrounded by the ppl whu love her deeply. had she, in her rash action, ignite the spark that result in the flame that consume the whole forest? she fear, she regret and guilt locked her. she looked back and saw a scorched and empty field. she did wat all the other little ger will do, she cried.
there was a time, she recall.. that love was so easy n free. so readily given and accepted....
it is my birthday.. i have long awaited this day. the day rejoice with my birth, the sun shines a brillant gold upon the juicy and green crops of the field. the birds sings wit such sweet voices that hope surged in one heart. no one could explain the fullest of the heart, the extra bounce in their steps and the true and cheerful smile on their face. love spreads.
he gave me a wind chime. a fine work of quick and nimble fingers of paper cranes and fishin line.. it was of the most radiance colour bathed in the gold of the sun hung in my room's window, it was so fragil.. i loved his handicraft as i love him. though pretty it may be, i keep it in my drawer, juz like i held him close in my heart. the simple kind gesture he showered me wit touched my heart. if my heart is music instrument, the deepest chord of love is strummed. God bless.
years later, when i looked back, where sorrow and lonliness struck my heart in the blackest of the night, i cried again.
every paper crane, there was a message of love.
a simple prayer was written on the paper. asking for protection, care, love and smiles granted from God above. that was the day i realise the significace of me in his life, the importance of a soul that could connects with urs, a lovin that fills a cup so full that it overflows.
this is not a sad story, he still live. though i regret, i could still salvahe it. im juz scared. by the enormity of such a past. i have not been granted wit the courage to do away the fear, to admit my mistake and take him into my arms again.
i almost lost him last month. God reminds me that i dun haf the time of the world to ask for forgiveness. im still scared.
+ [CyNz] remember agains + 5:35 AM
