+February 2005+
+March 2005+
+April 2005+
+May 2005+
+June 2005+
+July 2005+
+August 2005+
+September 2005+
+October 2005+
+November 2005+
+December 2005+
+January 2006+
+February 2006+
+April 2006+
+May 2006+
+June 2006+
+July 2006+
+August 2006+
+November 2006+
+January 2007+
+February 2007+
+June 2007+
+February 2008+
+May 2008+
+October 2008+
Monday, April 24, 2006
Monday, April 17, 2006
Sunday, April 16, 2006
we live in a v busy world.. a place where sometimes we missed out the v essential things of beauty n life even when it is thrown right in the face. events happens v fast and for some reason, more of us lost the abiliy to comprehend matters n situation. the harsh reality force us to deal wit life and does not allow us to rest a single moment. is it alive? a monstrous shadow eatin up ur v spirit.
these few days are consider a disaster. i nv seen the omen, the deep rumbling of the Earth, or the thunderous both from the sky. or perhaps i lied, i did see the forewarned but yet i pretended that i didnt. naturally, when i was slap outright to deal with the situation i wanted to run, to be deaf, to be blind. losing all connection with the world appeals to me greatly at that moment.
yesterdae, mom n dad quarrelled. it wasnt a small tiff, nor was it an arguement. it was a storm. the exchange of harsh words, screaming n shouting, n eventually, crying. haf u ever witnessed the terrible moments where u thought u pictured the worst, but saw the dreadful scene whereby ur father make angry threats to kill ur mother? ha.. it was not juz an drama series.
i drag my angry father away over the shouts of my mom. i pull him out of the hse and into the nearby blockz. strangly, i was the one who drag him. my bro was home at that moment, n i had nv seen him out of his room. when i was out wit my dad, i msg my bro to take a look at my mom, which i am not sure if he did.
yes, the storm is over, but it is not the end. i hope things will be alright.
lets tok abt other things. i went to new creation church wit my frenz on sunday. the preacher was pastor prince, a charming n charismatic fellow whu amuses his audience wit his words. the session was a good one but i did not felt that i was connected wit God so much as the eternal life service, or maybe it is becoz that it was my first time steppin into the church after so many years that my emotion soared. after the service we went to the children church to pick up a ger named stepie whom is a sister to my fren's fren. she is so shy when she saw me at first. i didnt wan to scared her so i keep my distance. after which when we were aving kunch at long john silver, she gradually warms up as she saw me makin hearts and stars wit the straws there. she's so cute n vibrant, a fresh new perception u will get when u observe her. eventually we 'stick' together.
i rem that i was juz commenting that i haf been puttin on weight and she said ' Jesus said no one is fat in His eye' . her words struck me. since when had i cared so much on appearance? to put on make up every morning, to think of an outfit to wear to sch everydae and to care so much on the opinion of other. i wasnt like that the last time. my gf commented that i haf change alot and when i asked her what was it that change n whether if it is a good or bad thing she didnt answer me.
seredipity. i found my restin place in the arms of God. He gave me the strength to face the truth and the wisdom to solve problems. i haf to admit, i hadnt accepted Him fully in my heart yet. but i had always known His presence is real and a part of me aches to return to His embrace.
+ [CyNz] remember agains + 12:01 AM
Well, what's a rule if it's not meant to be broken? Although you're not quite there yet, you're only a few crazy nights away from officially becoming "naughty." You've broken your share of rules - perhaps had a few flings, taken some rather serious risks, embellished the truth every now and again to save your skin - but you're still nice when it counts. If it's dangerous, cruel, or really illegal, chances are you haven't done it. Which is probably just as it should be. We all like to walk on the wild side now and again (it can be so much fun to be bad!), but it's important to strike a balance and keep your urges in check. You're doing fairly well so far - keep up the good work!
+ [CyNz] remember agains + 7:16 PM
+ [CyNz] remember agains + 7:10 AM
+ [CyNz] remember agains + 7:07 AM
+ [CyNz] remember agains + 7:04 AM
i begin my story..
this started few years back. bro n sis were two v close entity. they share their joy, laughter n peace. God above grant them the ability to love, to accept one another as whu they are, n bless them a gift of sacrifice. was it time? or rather how the world is shaped, or was it the sorrow, the hopelessness they see around them? the faailure to do wat is right.. they fall apart. no longer were they able to share, to finish one another sentence, to have a childish and playful fight.. all sense of communication is abruptly cut off with a letter and buckets of tears and sorroe. the little sis nv get to realise, how this small fall may result in the hardening of the heart of the bro so strong tat he can nv realli open up again. to feel n sense the world with a bare heart happens no more. he drew a spell.. a strong one ard him/.one that no one can break.. he nv believes in love again. the whisper of freedom brushes over him, the granite he cast ard protected him.. from all hurt, pain and mostly love.
the sis trembles.. how can this happens? was she to be punished for the silliness of youth, of the sqaunder of love she has receive? she was young, had no exposure to pain but onli surrounded by the ppl whu love her deeply. had she, in her rash action, ignite the spark that result in the flame that consume the whole forest? she fear, she regret and guilt locked her. she looked back and saw a scorched and empty field. she did wat all the other little ger will do, she cried.
there was a time, she recall.. that love was so easy n free. so readily given and accepted....
it is my birthday.. i have long awaited this day. the day rejoice with my birth, the sun shines a brillant gold upon the juicy and green crops of the field. the birds sings wit such sweet voices that hope surged in one heart. no one could explain the fullest of the heart, the extra bounce in their steps and the true and cheerful smile on their face. love spreads.
he gave me a wind chime. a fine work of quick and nimble fingers of paper cranes and fishin line.. it was of the most radiance colour bathed in the gold of the sun hung in my room's window, it was so fragil.. i loved his handicraft as i love him. though pretty it may be, i keep it in my drawer, juz like i held him close in my heart. the simple kind gesture he showered me wit touched my heart. if my heart is music instrument, the deepest chord of love is strummed. God bless.
years later, when i looked back, where sorrow and lonliness struck my heart in the blackest of the night, i cried again.
every paper crane, there was a message of love.
a simple prayer was written on the paper. asking for protection, care, love and smiles granted from God above. that was the day i realise the significace of me in his life, the importance of a soul that could connects with urs, a lovin that fills a cup so full that it overflows.
this is not a sad story, he still live. though i regret, i could still salvahe it. im juz scared. by the enormity of such a past. i have not been granted wit the courage to do away the fear, to admit my mistake and take him into my arms again.
i almost lost him last month. God reminds me that i dun haf the time of the world to ask for forgiveness. im still scared.
+ [CyNz] remember agains + 5:35 AM
