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Wednesday, November 09, 2005
now im waitin for my dear to cum back.. todae accompany him to hillgrove sec sch.. he is doing some paradin thingie..
these few days ar.. v tired.. i get less den 5 hr sleep everydae.. seems like i realli go home v late nowadays.. papa give remark on my behaviour but he nv restrict me. i noe it is becoz i turn 18 le, he wans to give me freedom.
lesson in klass todae i almost fell asleep.. oh sorri..i mena.. i did fell asleep. but todae still ok becoz it is onli a one hr lesson.
im considerin abt quittin hockey in sch. coz its likw.. how to sae huh.. np gers team. pointless to be there.. spac2go im also going to mis soon. becoz there is simply no more reason fer me to be there.. but if they need me, especially TDc, of coz i will be there.
work? that also appeal to me no more. i mean.. i tink i should haf more time to myself, i should notn rushed through life n experience everythin at one go. im takin it easy, takin a stroll n appreciatin my surroundin. i tink my fast-paced life is losin appeal.
psl alumni. i missed it.. not onli my batch but all the ppl.. like ming lun n soke fang kexin they all, they haf sorta disappear. sivan is not holdin any meetin either. this is bad..
im teachin my cousin hui hui tuition once a wk. i tink i spent more time wit my cousin family den my own. i mean, i have seen sis in wks.. urgh.. i dun mind teachin tuition but i wan to spent my whole dae there.. i mean, they expect me to go out wit them after tuition or pei hui hui.. i do not wan to exceed to role of juz being a teacher, i wan hui hui to score well of coz, even though her latest test she flunk by 2 mark, my point is, im not one of their famiyl! if i do not spent enuff time wit my own family alreadi, it doesnt seem right to be wit them all the time.i tink i neeed to tell them this. i refuse to receive payment becoz im not plannin to commit to this tuitionin cause. if she manages well, i will no longer tutor her. im doing this as a favor to third aunt n hui hui. but i do not wan to be a permanant figure in their lives.
sis n i haven met for so long. she cumin back hm to stay this fri.. hurray!
my dear. i dunno wat to don wit him. he is so sweet n caring. im scared.. im afraid i will forgo this relationship one day.. n it will be totally my fault. becoz i am not able to be less selfiish n love someone. when im wit him, i fear the endin day will come n i cud actually hear it silently approachin. isnt tat scary/? better notn tok abt it.. hush..
humm.. i met up wit jackson recently, he's a changed person.i felt tat i do not noe him n i tink tat i do not wan to noe the current him. i prefer to tink of him as the person i met last time.
poly life is gettin borin. i hope to haf somethin excitin to cum by soon enuff. i need frens.. not only my klassmates but i need new frenz too.. humm.. maybe i should start going to church.. i will take christmas as a opportunity ba.
btw, i went clubbin at momo last sat. when i was there, i kinda lost myself to the music. it was fun but yet i did meet digustin guys.. horrible!
+ [CyNz] remember agains + 12:45 AM
